Old Memories
by stuckybeliever
Summary: In which Steve needed to vent, and Natasha was conveniently available.


Steve threw his shield as a HYDRA agent pulled out a gun. It bounced off the wall, hitting the hostile on the head, effectively knocking him out cold. Catching his shield on the rebound, he attached it back onto his uniform and jogged out of the hall, finding Natasha fighting her own enemies. Taking a deep breath, he quickly joins the fight, assisting his colleague and friend.

He deflects a few hits from a particularly skilled agent, but fortunately, not too skilled for the likes of Black Widow and Captain America. He gets a few punches in to the hostile's stomach before the HYDRA thug falls to the ground. Steve glances at Natasha, who winks his way, but not before taking down 2 more agents.

"Keep up, Cap," she advised as she stepped over one of her victims unconscious body and jogged around the corner to complete the mission.

Steve continued down the hall, peeking into the rooms lining it. Empty. There was no way they could've known that they were coming. With his doubts, he continued walking, ready to defend himself.

"STRIKE team, report?" The voice crackled from the other end of the line.

"Mission still in play. Hostiles encountered, but weren't a problem." Steve spoke into the receiver. "Still, it seems quiet, way too quiet to mean anything even remotely good. Widow, report?"

He heard the receiving line click open, then grunts and yelling. "Hostiles over here. Give me a second." Without waiting for a reply, she spun around, taking out a guard with a kick and slipping past another, throwing a Widow Bite at them, making them collapse to the ground in a spastic fit.

"All done here, team. The charges are set, just get out before the 5 minutes are up and this place gets blown to hell.

"Got it," Steve replied as he set on to escaping the building.

Jogging through the hall, towards the exits, he doesn't realise he's been deep in thought. Thinking of Bucky. He was held in a base, just like this. Tied up to the bed, awaiting the torturous methods of HYDRA. Even he doesn't know how long.

He never deserved this. No one does. All he wanted was to contribute to his society in the most positive way possible. His choice inevitably led him to his death.

Sighing, he shuddered, as he was hit with memories. It was all his own fault. He formed his loyal team, led them on that fateful mission, and for his best friend, his death.

HYDRA was a parasite on this whole world, past, present and future. They could never live to wreak havoc in this world or another. He had once vowed to knock down HYDRA, until every last agent, official, scientist was dead or captured. Being named the world's first superhero, that was his job. To protect the world of all of HYDRA's evil. He was frozen for nearly 70 years because of it, but his sacrifice just gave HYDRA room to improve and grow into the killing machine it always has been.

His vow was unchanged. His job wasn't over until all of HYDRA was dead or captured.

He was so engrossed in his thoughts that he didn't notice he'd been propped up against a wall, with Natasha standing in front of him, yelling at him.

"Steve? Steve? We need to get out of here!" She helped him out just as they heard the first blasts go off.

They took off, charging down the hall to the foreboding entrance, their only escape. The blasts kept going, closer and closer, almost deafening. Natasha sprinted ahead, diving out into the outside world, Steve following closely behind, as they both landed hard on the ground below as the HYDRA base comes crashing down right behind them.

Natasha rolls onto her back and sits up, breathing heavily.

"Next time, Cap, work on that timing."

After changing out of his uniform, Steve heads towards the elevator. He wanted some quiet for the rest of the evening after the mission and his and Natasha's near death. He never wanted to put her in danger like that, she was his friend after all. His thoughts and emotions were all wrapped up way under the surface. He just wanted to be alone with his haunting thoughts.

He enters the elevator for a quiet trip home. After taking a shower and changing out of his motorcycle jacket, he puts on a white singlet and on old pair of jeans and stretches out on the couch. He only then notices the open window, which he could've sworn wasn't always open. In fact, he'd never even recalled opening it today.

Cautiously, he peers out the window, seeing nothing and returning back to the couch after closing it. He immediately figures out his suspicions. Someone's in the house.

Picking up his shield from the corner of the room, he readies himself, ready to attack.

"C'mon Rogers," a familiar voice teases. "I'm a spy. You should've known I'd find your humble abode soon enough."

"It would've been better if you were actually invited in." He retorts, making himself comfy on the couch, not worried about the fact that his once private apartment was found out. Then again, it was expected that a world-renowned spy would find it. "Not a good time, Natasha."

"Well, after what happened in that HYDRA base, I'm pretty sure it's the perfect time to talk." She declares, sitting across from him on the couch as he takes a deep breath, to keep his calm.

"Steve, what was that? I mean, it was a standard mission, but something about it was different. You were different. What happened?"

"Nothing, Nat." He sighed, taking a deep breath to avoid reliving the memories once more.

"Steve, I'm pretty sure if it was nothing, you would've made it out without needing my help. That most definitely wasn't nothing." She coaxed, placing a hand on his shoulder, reassuring him of her presence. "Please, talk to me. It's not healthy to keep it all shut inside. If that happens again, you might not make it out alive."

Steve thought about this. She had a valid point. He'd put not just his own life in danger, but hers as well. That was unfair. He didn't have the right to endanger anyone, and anyway, she did save his life, after all. He owed her an explanation.

Rubbing the back of his neck nervously, he answered. "An old memory just flooded back to me." He glanced up at her. She sat patiently, waiting for him to continue.

"It was 1943, and I had just infiltrated a HYDRA base, just like the one of our mission, and I had freed over 400 soldiers, but I couldn't find Bucky. I told the rest of the soldiers to find their own way out and left on my own to find him. I found him strapped to a bed. He… He looked terrible. They were experimenting on him. To this day, I still don't know what they did to him, but he obviously wasn't the same." He sucked in a breath of fresh air, clenching his fists. "He never deserved that, Nat. No one does. I thought I was done with HYDRA. That they would be destroyed way before now. But they were right. Cut off one head, and two more take its place."

"Steve, you can't have expected all of that to be your responsibility. HYDRA has always been a parasite of the world, past and present. By defeating the Red Skull, you rid the world of the evil of the Tesseract. But you can't have expected it to be so easy. HYDRA was never just the Red Skull and his evil. There will always be evil in the world. It won't be destroyed by one man. Even Captain America needs help sometimes."

"But… Bucky. I couldn't save him. I watched him fall to his death. All because I wanted to be the man to put HYDRA down for good. And it cost him his life."

"It was never your fault, Steve. I've read the file, and despite what is says, I don't believe that. I mean, by taking on the Red Skull, you, quite literally saved the whole world. You lost 66 years of your life to save the lives of everyone on Earth. And even against Loki, you held your own to defeat him. If anything, you're a hero. A superhero. And no one can say otherwise."

"I was always his responsibility. Even when my mother died, he was right by my side. Till the end of the line. Now, it seems almost wrong for me to be here and not him by my side."

"Steve, you can't keep blaming yourself. It was never your fault and now that he's gone, you have to live on, with his memory right by your side. Don't let his sacrifice be in vain."

"You know, for a world-class spy and a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, you really are good with comfort." He commented, hiding a smile.

"Where do you think I get it, Rogers? With you by my side, I think I'm getting soft," she joked, laughing alongside him.

"I'm sorry about back there, Nat. I'm serious. It wasn't fair to put your life in danger like that. If there was any way to make it up to you…" He dragged on, not finishing the sentence.

"You know what? There's nothing. You know, right now." She announced, lying against his broad shoulders, now comfortably sitting back-to-back.

"Well, if you don't mind… There is one more thing…" He admits shyly. Turning to face him, her intense green eyes stare right into his bright azure ones, daring him to continue as she notices the hesitance laced in his voice.

"Yes, Captain?" she responds to his cautious manor, leaning up slightly from her previous slouching position and turning back towards him.

He thought it would never be possible, but for once, he might have taken her by surprise because, before she knew it, his hands were on her cheeks, pulling her closer towards him, as his lips collided with her own.

She unknowingly sighed as she deepened the kiss. She licked his lower lip and took control, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him even closer. He tasted sweet and refreshing, like vanilla.

Out of breath, they reluctantly pulled apart. He still had the dark glint of lust in his eyes, while she bit her lip, wondering where this left them in their relationship. Did this kiss change anything?

Steve internally groaned. He shouldn't have risked everything with her for a kiss. It had blown his mind, but it changed everything.

"Natasha, I'm sorry. That was uncalled for. Um-I... I'm sorry. I-uh-um," Steve mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck. "I-uh shouldn't have. It was unprofessional. Uh-sorry." He looked down, hiding his furiously burning cheeks.

She thought deeply about it. She had been so unhappy ever since she could remember. Not depressed, or suicidal, just not content. There was always something missing from her life. Clint was the only person she really talked to. He had singlehandedly saved her from herself, and she had repaid the favour. They looked out for each other, but even with Clint, there were deep parts of her soul that left her wondering if she'd always be alone.

She uncurled from her awkward position on the couch and turned to face him. Still blushing, he looked up.

"You know what, Rogers? It's okay. I'm just better at hiding my emotions, and since you had the guts to act on them, then I guess I should too."

She inched closer to him until she was sitting on his lap, facing him, with her legs were wrapped around his waist and her arms laying on his shoulders. He looked down at the floor, almost embarrassed at the position. As he glanced back up, he was met with her sultry glare, and then the comfort of her lips once again meeting his.

Their first kiss was soft and patient and cautious, but this one exploded with heat and passion. She wrapped her arms around his neck and brought him down hard onto her mouth. He grasped her waist and let his tongue dart into her mouth, tasting the sweetness of hers.

She held back a sinful moan as he travelled down her neck, sucking on one spot at the base of her neck, then leaving a trail of kisses as she gripped his hair in her fists, leading him back up to capture her mouth in another electrifying kiss.

He took her mouth in his, once again teasing it open to taste hers. In the midst of all this, he trailed his hands down her body, gripping her hips as he kissed he hard.

As he kissed her, he lifted his mouth off hers, his face crinkled with confusion and uncertainty. She kept eye contact, her eyes glinting with danger.

"Well?" She teased. "Aren't you going to be a gentleman and ask me to bed?" She got up, walking towards his bedroom, swaying her hips seductively.

He looked down at the floor, hiding her from his eyes, now a shade darker with lust and passion. Gaining enough confidence, he looked up. But his words were overshadowed by her own.

"Rogers, did you give me a hickey?" She asked, standing in front of his bathroom mirror, which connected to the bedroom.

His confidence still not lost, he shrugged.

"Well, then. It's payback time." She walked back to him, swaying her hips slightly and without a second thought, grabbed him by the semi-hard dick and led him to his bedroom. She took off his singlet, pushed him onto the bed, then crawled on top of him, kissing up his torso. She took her sweet time, grinding her hips into his as she worked, swirling her tongue around his nipples, kissing his pecs, grazing his prominent abs with her teeth. By the low growl from his throat, she knew he was enjoying it. She held nothing back, trailing back up to his mouth and tugging his bottom lip into her mouth for yet another heated kiss.

In the middle of all this, he flipped them over, positioning himself on top of her, propping his elbows up as he snaked his mouth down her neck. Taking off her shirt and skilfully removing her bra with no trouble at all, he clasps his mouth onto her breast, gripping her hardened nipple in his teeth and gently tugging, all the while she is writhing in pleasure, gripping and pulling at his hair, her entrance moistening.

He continued, from one nipple to the other, gripping and tugging, then continuing down, past her flat stomach, her belly button, her hips and coming to a stop at her core. Kissing up along her inner thigh, he worked his way up again, stopping at her core, where he pulls down her black lace panties down with his teeth.

Standing up himself, he slips off his pants and boxers, then positions himself back down on top of her, leaving nothing between his hardened erection and her moist core.

Natasha, still ecstatic from the foreplay, moves so that she's in front of him, on her knees, and with no hesitation, starts licking up his cock. Swirling her tongue around the head, then slowly bobbing down, eventually taking his length in her hollowed cheeks. Of course, it wouldn't all fit, he was a monster. That super soldier serum really worked for him, she thought. Bobbing her head up and down, she took his length in her mouth, holding it there, gagging slightly, then licking up his cock after he'd come right into her mouth.

Licking her lips in satisfaction, she crawled back up onto the bed, only to be flipped onto her back, being dominated by Steve which, evidently, she didn't mind.

Growling, he slid down her body, until he's positioned right in front of her wet entrance. With a mischievous grin plastered on his face, he teased a finger inside, then pulling it out, slick with her juice. Then doing the same with two fingers, then eventually teasing his tongue inside of her, swirling it around her clit, taking her gasps as a sign of pleasure. Finally, she released, right into his mouth, seeing him lick his lips as he lifted his face out from between her legs.

Still high with pleasure, she sighed as he positioned his erection right at her entrance, then with one solid push, he entered her swiftly, as she gasped with ecstasy. He felt her walls tighten around him, his erection filling her up. Scratching her fingernails down his back, he thrust inside of her, again and again, until she came, with him inside of her. On the cusp of his own, he grunted.

"Fuck, Natasha." He exclaimed just as he came inside of her, then gasped and lay down next to her.

Laughing breathily, she closed her eyes.

"Language."


End file.
